Come As You Are

>>Reflection on Photo Session with Shannon May 2011<<

I finally did it.  A photo session with Shannon.  I didn’t know what would come of it---but I knew I was supposed to do it.  I was curious to see what would happen.  I knew the timing was right.  Even though in some ways the timing seemed all wrong.  I wasn’t in the best place ever in life.  I had a lot of questions.  But, I had a sense that God had something for me in this experience.  He wanted me to see something that I’d never seen in myself. 

After talking with Shannon, she suggested we do the shoot in the place I lived---my home.  I wasn’t sure about this initially, because we were in the process of moving, and parts of the home were totally empty.  Nothing on the walls---no decoration.  I learned that it’s not about the location.  It’s all about the life of the person in the photo.  And, taking the photos in my home was important.  It’s where I was at in life.  At the time. 

I prepped for the session and found clothes that said, “Charity.”  They expressed me.  I wore a special necklace that my sisters gave me.  I wore my favorite colors.  I wore my comfy worn jeans.  I felt like taking a risk---and I left my hair wavy instead of straightening it.  That was me.  And it felt right.  I wanted to give Shannon---me. 

She arrived at the house and we did some focusing exercises before we started to allow me to rest and find a comfortable space to share my story.  I loved it.  Focus is important to me.  So is living in the present moment.  So is sharing the truth and beauty of my unique story.  We started in my room. 

I did not know what to expect.  I’m a photographer myself, and I love taking photos of others---but this time I was the subject.  It felt vulnerable to be on the other side of the lens.  So good for me to realize.  It felt revealing and a little risky.  I learned that it’s important to put yourself out there even if it seems a bit uncomfortable.  You find pieces of yourself along the way.  And you also experience that you’re not alone.  Little by little I shared pieces of my life, my heart, my experiences, life changing moments, pain, and times that God has met me.  It was powerful to do what was kind of like a “conversational photography” session.  Shannon is easy to share with it.  She gets it.  She believes in the power of transformation.  She sees it---and she captures it. 

I am a spiritual director.  I have been educated and trained to listen and observe movement in people’s life stories.  Through this experience, I was able to see that in ways, a photographer like Shannon is like a spiritual director.  She takes in a story, your heart, a moment, a person’s appearance, your internal world and everything that makes up a personality---and she sees----and she is able to show you who you are in images.

At the end of my session, I felt a little naked---because I really went there.  But, something else emerged during that time---courage.  During parts of the session,  I had to look at myself in a mirror while she shot photos.  For like 10 minutes.  How often do we just sit and look at ourselves in a mirror?  And truly admire what we see?  Powerful. 

The most memorable part of my time with Shannon was towards the end of the shoot.  She asked what song might describe me and where I was at in life.  Funny, the day before I was just thinking as I was driving in my car and listening to the radio---which musician I would be most like.  I love music.  Always have.  I shared that I would probably be most like Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, or Alicia Keys deep in my soul.  Nice!  There it was.  More of the real me coming out.  And then she put it on the table.  How would you feel about just putting some of their music on and dancing, Charity?  And I responded instantly.  Totally.  So there I was in my living room dancing to J. Lo.  Twirling, shaking the hips, laughing, and smiling—free as can be.  And she got it.  That felt very risky.  Don’t know if I’ve ever danced alone in front of someone while they were taking pictures of me.  Definitely not something I'd normally do.  It pushed me.  But—the important thing is I went there.  I allowed someone to really see me.  I allowed myself to be free.  And alive.   

After she left I debriefed in my journal.  I felt totally vulnerable, but at the top of the page I wrote---"COURAGEOUS."  She sent me the photos in a few days.  

I loved seeing the photos.  I was totally surprised and taken by what she saw.  Shannon showed me parts of me through images that I’ve never seen.  God used these images powerfully.  They reflect to me the truth of who I am.  I see a distinct light in my eyes that communicates something very important to me.  Many of my favorites are not even of my face.  Interesting.  And I believe that is what God had for me to see---an all encompassing beauty—that is me.  She also took photos of my hands and my paintings and my wrinkles and my hips and my laughter and joy.  I am an artist.  My hands are important.  She also took candid shots of me talking and just sitting in peace with my eyes closed.  I remember the parts of my story that I was sharing as I look back on these photos---and they are a reminder to me of what has made me who I am today.  This session was a gift.  It revealed to me that beauty is not necessarily what I’ve always thought it was.  Shannon showed me through photos of myself that story and light and beauty and life are abundantly present in me---and I must let them shine.  

Here is a slideshow that Shannon put together of some of the images from the shoot:

http://shannonleith.com/darkroom/share/?n=charity

And she gave me ten images printed on awesome hard cards---a great keepsake!

Shannon has now launched a new business!  She now does SHINE sessions.  You can get more information here and this is Shan's story:
http://shannonleith.com/2011/11/the_story_behind_shine.html


AND if you have any questions---I'd love to talk to you to tell you more.