Steady Continuity

Traveling. Down a road. To a destination. With a friend. Roadtrips. There's nothing like 'em. Good mixed CDs are a must. Snacks and fountain sodas help. Printed Mapquest maps and an iPhone on board are supposed to guide the way...but there's still the possibility of getting lost--which we did. Conversation of the heart or comments about the scenery usually pass the time. This past May I had the chance to journey to Savannah with my friend Mikala at the wheel. Adventure at its finest.

Beautiful green trees lined the highway on both sides. We had at least a four hour trip ahead of us. I was coming off of a red eye flight the night before. The Starbucks iced coffees helped to keep us awake. So did the conversation. I can't remember everything we talked about. But, I do remember a few things that will stick with me forever.

I'm convinced that the thing about a roadtrip is that is gives you space. Forced space. Many of us don't have that space. This trip was special. We talked a lot about Maxine, Mikala's mom, who is now home with Jesus in heaven. As young women seeking wisdom and guidance and trying to answer the big questions of life--we were reminiscing about what made her tick and what made her the woman she was. The Lord used that conversation to open up deeper thoughts on relationships. And deeper thoughts about Him.

One thing that we recalled is that she once said that one of the most important things to do in a relationship was, "Be consistent." She was talking to Mikala about being a parent. It was her response to: "Mom, if and when I have kids what kind of advice would you give me?" I remember in the car that it just kinda hit us once it was spoken aloud again. Two words. So profound. So simple. But, not so simple at the same time. There was a little silence and even teary eyes. Out of everything she could have shared, this is what she advised from her heart and experience.

As you read this blog, you'll find that I'm a words girl. Words speak much to me. The people who speak them also hold weight. I take things to heart. And ponder. And wrestle. And let things seep in. I gain wisdom from wise and devoted people. So for the last two months--these words have been sitting with me. And I think in the past couple of weeks I'm finally getting some understanding from the Lord.

Some of us might say, "Consistency, big deal. I'm a fairly consistent person." I execute routine pretty well in my life." Some may be a little over the top and some might be a little too lax--but why is consistency important? The past couple of months have revealed to me as I've looked closer, I am...but in so many ways...I'm not...and I probably never will be. I have a wandering heart.

So, when I first started thinking about consistency and how I defined it I thought..."you show up, you're present, you come back...you don't leave...you are a constant...you hold things together...you are committed...you are routine...discipline...people can count on you...in some ways--you are unchanging." Well, I went to good old Webster and found "possessing firmness or coherence, marked by harmony, regularity, or steady continuity, holding together, firm, solid" as parts of the definition. The word meant something and I knew she was saying more than something light. Her two words spoke to her own journey. And to the journeys of most human beings. She knew her daughter. She knew herself. She knew--because she had been there.

As I let Maxine's words of wisdom sink in more, some pieces started to fall into place as I looked at my honest journey. Yes--there are places that I am super consistent in my life. And, I can say that I do spend regular time with the Lord throughout the day. I could pinpoint areas that I am solid. Then a month of unsettledness set in. A month of undoing. A month of truth. A month of being reminded of trials of life on earth. Hard times sitting face to face with Jesus in confusion, hands thrown in the air, even sadness...without answers. And I decided--my life has never been consistent--it's always changing. There is only one real consistency-God. It doesn't even surprise me any more that it is in these times that answers come. I forget though...that I'm not the one holding myself together. I'm not the one with the answers--as much as I want to be. Alone...I am not solid.

I know Maxine's family. I even knew her, and I've heard so many stories about the kind of woman she was and all of the people's lives she touched. And I started to think to myself--she understood the mystery of consistency. She knew she couldn't do it alone. She knew she didn't possess it all on her own. But she had a heart that knew the Lord and loved Him from the core. She had traveled the world and she had seen our condition. She knew Him. This was the true source of a solid foundation--and little by little that brings a consistency to a person's life--it's something outside of you. He is our consistency...and day by day He is making us more grounded and transformed people as we know Him more.

So-what do I do now that I understand these words of guidance on how to love and live--at 36 years of age? I guess I can try to be a person of commitment--and devotion--and a person who holds to the Lord as my Rock. I can be honest with myself when I fail and even live in the reality that I am not perfect. I can open my eyes and see the continuous work of God in my life and give thanks. I can live in right relationship with Christ and start living my true identity. I can exercise consistency in my life on different levels and in various circumstances in my everyday, sometime mundane life...I can practice being consistent, whole, and grounded in Him--letting Him strengthen what is weak--receiving His steady continuity in my life...and offering that to the world.

Now that I think about it...our faith journeys are very much like roadtrips. Traveling. Down a road. To a destination. With a friend.

Thanks for that roadtrip, Miks. And thank you Jesus for taking good care of Maxine until we see her again--her life and example live on.